A Type Eight opens her heart and shares her journey with you
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http://wms17.streamhoster.com/tce/wm9_800kbit_JudyDay_Type8_Interview.wmv
Leave a comment, or tell us your personal story of transformation! How has the Enneagram changed your life? Give us a vivid description of how you were before, what you learned about yourself, and what changed. Share real examples of how you behave differently, and how people react differently to you now. Paint a picture with words. Claim your growth publicly and own it. We want to feel you!
No novels! Please keep it under 750 words.
Who will you inspire today?
May 27th, 2008 at 11:03 am
I am a nine. Because of my work with the enneagram I am less disfunctional in my relationships. I now I tend to my own feelings and experience rather than to those of the other. This is good for I used to just go along with the agenda of others. And now that I have a daily practice I can usually catch myself merging with the agendas of others, and move directly into choice. My practice is to be self-directed in my life creating my own destiny. Hopefully soon I will be able to be in relationship and attend to my own needs at the same time. I am now more aware of my passive/aggressive behaviors and less manipulative, and feel more freedom to notice what I want and empowered to choose what I want. With the enneagram I feel I have the tools with which I can navigate MY life’s journey. This may seem selfish, but for an awakening nine who loves others too much this is a good thing.
May 27th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
This is a wonderful example of what’s possible when we have tools and facilitaion for transformational change. I have also experienced radical change and rewiring.
What follows is some of my story with working with enneagram and TCE.
I was a very asleep nine. I was angry and stuffing it, anger would come out sideways, passive-aggressive, or just get stuffed and stored for later explosions. I had a real hard time setting and/or holding boundaries. I could not differentiate between my needs and others. I had no personal agenda or plans. I was always looking to others to figure out the next best thing to do. The Enneagram and the work I have done with Benjamin have been amazing. I can recognize when I am getting angry and look for the reasons for the anger rising and deal with it head on. I learned what my “NO” looks and sounds like, and now I am more sure when I say “YES”. I am able to truly see what makes sense for me, no matter what others are doing or persuading. I am more open, present and loving than I have ever been in my life. I feel like this work has given me the permission, tools, and impetus to be my own authentic self. I am eternally grateful for the incredible shifts occurring from this work.
May 27th, 2008 at 9:06 pm
Letting go of bad ego-stuff was painful for me because it’s been such a long-standing (yet ineffective) band-aid on deep hurt from my past that I don’t want repeated. I felt it was protective but it certainly didn’t allow healing. An “okay” coping mechanism at best that kept me suspended in time in some very key emotional areas of my heart. Taking this covering off has given me deeper peace and a significantly larger conduit in dealing with the people in my life with greater love, honesty and attention. I’m an 8. The vulnerability factor I’ve had to work on is actually a nice place to be. Sharing/communion can deepen greatly in that place. Thank you to Ben and all the people who have shared and been vulnerable with me so I can be better at doing the same.
May 28th, 2008 at 1:05 am
One of the most fundamental shifts the enneagram has sparked in me is depersonalizing or dis-identifying with traits that are merely personality patterns-coping mechanisms- from the essence of who I truly am, and who others truly are. The enneagram has given me a deep and wide understanding of the diversity of how humanity can organize itself, to love it even more, and see through it.
Before I became familiar with the enneagram, I thought I was tough as nails, and that was the best way to be here in what felt like an unfriendly world. I thought, I was too big, took up too much room (as I’d been told most of my life), and other people ought to speak up, take up their own space, or get out of the way. I was often frustrated, irritated, annoyed, or angry about injustices on the micro and macro levels. Those emotions were depleting and making me less available to effect change because anger is not a sustainable energy source from which to draw.
As I learned about the types, met other 8’s, I realized, this is not just about me, it’s a whole cross-section of the population. This isn’t just my stuff, it’s a cosmology…what a relief! So I got to dis identify with my anger, I am not an angry woman, I just readily access that energy. And using the enneagram, I’ve gotten to the sadness and fear underneath the anger, realizing what a deeply sensitive person I am. And I tell you what, the more I feel the fear below the surface, my ability to experience joy, bliss and ecstasy exponentially shot through the roof. In personal relationships, when I feel and share these softer more vulnerable parts of me, reliably the results are greater connection and intimacy and significantly less drama. People love me even more when I let down the tough as nails part of me and the world becomes a much more benevolent place to live…go figure.
I’ve also used the enneagram to claim and amplify my gifts. As an 8 I have a keen awareness about energetics, my intuition is highly developed and I use that in my work with people as a life coach and massage therapist. I now embrace the catalytic force that I am and have developed respect for the lightning bolts i wield.
I use the enneagram in some way everyday. It’s now an integrated part of my life, a tool that enhances the quality of my relationships both personally and professionally and supports me thriving rather than surviving.
Ben Saltzman is a master transmitter of this body of wisdom, he is in his genius in this realm. Don’t miss an opportunity to study with him.
May 28th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Looks great, Ben.
May 28th, 2008 at 11:01 pm
We have heard that people are having trouble viewing the video on Mac and through some versions of Fire Fox. If you can’t play the video use the link below. Once you watch the video and get all jazzed please come back to this page to leave us your comments or story.
http://wms17.streamhoster.com/tce/wm9_800kbit_JudyDay_Type8_Interview.wmv
Thanks, Ben
P.S. If you are using Fire Fox on a PC, there is a fix to being able to play the video from the video player in the blog. You can download and install the fix from this link:
http://port25.technet.com/pages/windows-media-player-firefox-plugin-download.aspx
May 31st, 2008 at 4:03 pm
I loved the video Ben. I have known Judy since 1994 and have witnessed the changes.
For me knowing my Type (7) has been a great help. Getting conscious about my pattern has helped me to break the cycle of repetitive self sabotaging behaviors. Getting out of my head and into my body has been a great help. Getting scared and running away from unpleasant and painful emotions or from mental imaginary scenarios of being trapped and suffering was not allowing me to bring my true genius and gifts into the world. Not trusting my own deep intuitive wisdom and instead allowing my mind to run the show did not support the creation of a satisfactory working and social life.
Getting conscious about the reaction/behavior patterns that were arising in me and identifying them as the 7 type constellation allows me to make better choices in all areas of my life and has lead me to create a satisfying career, loving relationships, more joy and creativity, and the possibility of expressing myself in ways I never dreamed of. What a relief and release.
June 1st, 2008 at 2:58 pm
My first response when I discovered I was a 4 was YUCK! All that emotional turmoil - I thought I was being so real, yet in actuality I was responding out the type I was - it was binding me unconsciously. By becoming aware of how selfish I was, and how easily I can be pulled into emotional drama, I have been able to have more choice over what I want to come into my life. I have been able to open up to others, which is very frightening for me.
In the past I would live in my fantasies, have all these awesome conversations with other people in my head, but never connect in reality. I have started to take the courage steps of showing myself, however ordinary and dull I am afraid it will appear and let go of my “fantasy” of how things should look and open up to what is really going on. Through this I have been able to connect to others and develop some real friendships. Everyday, reality is becoming more interesting than my fantasies. I find great value in understanding what my type is so that I can transcend it. I see this as a lifelong journey.
June 4th, 2008 at 7:06 pm
How do I know what # I am?
June 4th, 2008 at 9:44 pm
Good question Shelly. Ben Saltzman responding here. People often hear about the various types and tell me, “Ben I’m a multiple personality! I’m sometimes like this type and sometimes like that type… I don’t know who I am!”
There are many ways you can discover your Type. It can be difficult as the Enneagram is a map of your hidden emotional triggers and beliefs. Strangely the Enneagram is the most powerfull and precise when you are exploring your unconscious stuff rather than the behaviors that you are aware of.
Some people read books or listen to CD’s, that have descriptions of the Nine Types but that often isn’t enough. The on-line tests are only 35% to 85% accurate depending on your type and those percentages just don’t cut it for me.
The best, most precise ways to discover your type are through a one-on-one Typing Interview, or by watching Panels. In a Typing Interview you talk on the phone with one of our coaches about all your patterns and behaviors and the coach helps you explore yourself at depth. At the end of the hour long interview the coach gives you precise self-observation exercises so you watch yourself and deepen your self awareness quickly. In two weeks you talk again with the coach and you will convince them what type you are!
Enneagram Panels are killer too. You watch a group of 3 or 4 people, all of the same Enneagram type, as a trained facilitator takes them down into the inner workings of their ego/personality. As they reveal themselves you will find that for one of the panels the issues they wrestle with, and the gifts they bring to the world, very closely mirror you! They will help you see you much more clearly… this is a good thing. And you will discover your husband, wife, kids, friends, in a whole new way as you watch thier personality type panel as well.
The next panels event is soon! June 20, 21, 22, 2008. Sing up for the newsletter now in the upper left corner of this page to get more info on this seminar!
I hope this helps Shelly. Enjoy the self-exploration… it truly is one of the gifts of the Enneagram.
Ben
June 8th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
As I get deeper into the work of the 8 that I am, I encounter cultural and socioeconomic challenges that breed dissonance. In some circles, giving up control and letting go of outcomes is simply spineless and irresponsible. As an African-American woman with two children, head of household, and the only Black person on the job, transformation is not so forthcoming - even with insight and a greater understanding of self. Yet, it provides another perspective of life that is conducive to living - - not dying. I want to live. Reducing levels of stress in my life has been an absolute goal as hypertension, diabetes and heart disease await on the other side of “control.” Transformation through challenging the assumptions of my Type 8 has allowed me to disconnect from concepts that are unhealthy regardless of intention.
June 18th, 2008 at 8:35 pm
Ben, I found your comments to Shelly to be quite interesting. I have identified as a type 9 (sexual subtype) through on-line enneagram typing tests, but when I am on panels with 9’s or in discussion groups, I feel like a total 8. I am told by others that I am intimidating–hardly what you’d expect to hear about a 9. I communicate much more like a type 8, very direct and I appreciate directness back at me. I know exactly what I think about things, though not so much what I feel about things. I think this is where I may have mis-typed myself as a 9. I have learned over the years to tone down some of my 8-ness because I learned that I can get what I want out of people by softening the approach a bit. Also, because I am a female having grown up in a very male dominated working class town in the 70’s, I paid a big price for being the outspoken and driven me. I am still very impatient with people who don’t or won’t take a stand, so you can imagine my frustration at not being able to know for sure if I am a 9 or an 8. I feel so much more like an 8, but I also have trained myself in the higher qualities of a 9. Any suggestions for further exploration of this issue?
July 7th, 2008 at 7:45 pm
Hi Jill,
Donna Fowler here, responding to your question. It sounds very much like you are an 8. As Ben said earlier, the testing instruments are less than accurate. The key is to observe yourself over time and conclude based upon what you really do, think, and feel. I love that you include what others have said about you. Often, if someone is struggling with identifying their type, I ask what they have heard from others. Our loved ones often have a very good perspective on us and can help us see some things about ourselves that we may have a hard time seeing.
As for further exploration, I would begin to look at one of the key drivers that are very different between those two types–the passions. The passion of the Type 8 is lust. What that means is that you may find that you have a big sense of desire, a love of intensity, a gravitating to the sensual and physical, and little appreciation for subtly. It feels very instinctive and urgent, you feel you must have this intensity, so if it isn’t available you’ll just drum it up yourself.
In contrast, the passion of the Type 9, sloth, also known as laziness, shows up very differently. It is not laziness like we normally think of it. It can be a kind of sleepiness, or lack of self care or self motivation, a form of inertia where you can’t quite get going, or you keep moving on a task that may not be important to you, but that you just keep doing. You gravitate toward comfort and ease rather than intensity.
See if observing yourself with the passions in mind helps you to distinguish between the types.
Good luck!